White Eagle Speaks

Well, I really cant help but marvel at the ultimate lameness and randomness from David Crawshaw and Brendan Ma from ACSI I B (nuts). Therefore, I shall plagarise their article "White Eagle Speaks" from Issue Four of the school newspaper !NK and hope i dont get sued or fail my EE in advance.

Ok here goes.. hold on to your seatbelts before you crumble into the realm of utter lameness and randomness and fall off your seat...

(BTW the White Eagle refers literally to a white eagle statue that is in my school facing the golf.. i mean astro turf, minus off the snipe tongue and sense of humour)



White Eagle Speaks

Since the regrettable passing on of my predecessors, it now falls to me, White Eagle, omniscient, organically-challenged, to grace your sad lives with my pearls of wit and condolence. Flagellate with me your troubles, and watch in wonder as i deflect them with my cold indifference! Looking majestic and perpetually on the point of overbalancing on my pedestral are my fortes; and while it is painful for you mere mortals to know such perfection unattainable, be of comfort that I am here to help! In a way! Or at least intending to! Yes!


Dear White Eagle,
There is like this... uh... person... who is... um... like doing this... erm... thing. I feel like this... ah... feeling... you know? And I dunno what to do! Oh please help me! I really want to like... hmmm... do something... you know? But it is just that... oh... I dunno... I just dunno. I-I-I'm quite desperate... I mean... I am consulting the White Eagle.
~Konfused


White Eagle
Your great specificity displays the great potential for precision that every good ACSian should have. The White Eagle is sympathetic and empathetic, yet curiously apathetic with regards to your pathetic state; but rest assured, he will not forsake you. Thou art in a pitiable state, but fret not, fair lass, lest mayhep thy anguish lead thee to thy rest ere thy time hath come. Let the White Eagle respond to you in a suitably nebulous yet comforting fashion...

If a person does a certain thing

Which gives you a certain feeling

And you want to do something

But you're a ding-a-ling

Just give a smile

And wait a while

Then act in style

Thus end your trial

.

Oh yeah. Lets see Aunt Agony come up with something like that!

.

.

.

.
.

Ok time to mug for my econs test..

Oh and (I hope you will have cos I know I wont have a ) Happy Chinese New Year! To all my Indian, Malay, Vietnamese, Indonesians, and whoever you are other than a chinese, friends, I wish you.. err.. Happy 2nd Week of February!